A letter to me.......a year earlier

As I put these pictures together, I began to think of everything that we had experienced in the past year. I found myself wishing I could write a letter from the veteran mother on the right, to the brand new mother on the left. I looked at myself on the left, starring into Emmy's eyes and wishing I could just give her a hug and tell her to hang on for the next 365 days. So, I decided that I wanted to write that letter.....here it goes!

Dear "new mom" Brittany,

What an amazing experience you have just went through! Your baby girl is here and perfect and I know you are on cloud nine. Soak it all in. Smell her sweet baby smell all day long. Take a mental note of her little grunts and noises, as they will soon fade. Snuggle her. Your hormones are going to cause you a lot of tears. Find peace in the fact that they will subside and you will stop crying a million times a day. On top of that, breastfeeding is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever do. The pain is normal, you are doing fine and I'm here to tell you, you WILL succeed. I know you could not see continuing past two weeks, but you will know what it's like to nurse a toddler.....just pray and hang in there. Snuggle her.

Your sweet girl is going to have a rough start, and you will not know why.When pediatricians tell you it is just normal infant gas, trust yourself that it is not. At two months, she will start to have blood in her diapers and it will be the scariest thing you will experience in your life. She has a dairy and soy allergy and has severe reflux. Cut out all dairy and soy and put her on a reflux med early. This new lifestyle and diet will be insanely overwhelming, but it will not overcome your determination to breastfeed Emily and give her the best. You will be questioned and have formula pushed on you by pediatricians, family and friends. Ignore them. You will save yourself a lot of heartache if you just trust your heart that you know what is best for her. Snuggle her.

You will read every book out there on infant sleep, vaccines, baby food, and parenting. Save your engery and go with your heart. You know what is best for her, just trust that. Snuggle her. There will be many dark times....lean on Danny and your mom. Cry to them, they will support you always. Relish the good times, the first smiles, the first coos, the new faces. Remember those moments when you are feeling sad. Your Sweet Peas Mom's group will be more of a support and resource than you could ever imagine. They will ease your heart and worries on anything you can think of. Post there, and post often.

I know sometimes you will think that you are not cut out to be a mother, that you can't deal with it all, and that you are ruining this precious gift from God......please hear me when I say you ARE a good mother. You are the BEST mother that sweet girl could ever have. You will get through this, you've just got to have faith. The early days with Emily will be rough, but the sleepless nights, screaming, blood, and everything else is just a phase. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. It all passes and too quickly. God gave you this journey because he knew you would be strong for Emily. You will learn more from her in this next year, than you learned in 26 years on your own. When you feel like giving up, when you can give no more, when you think you are not cut out for this.......picture your sweet girl giving you the biggest hug and kiss. That WILL happen and it suddenly makes every single thing worth it. It's all worth it. Just pray, give her too many kisses and pray some more. And snuggle, lots of snuggles.

Love,
Me